"If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle with others, you deserve a love deeper than the ocean."
"When it came to the fashioning of woman, Brahma took: the clustering of rows of bees, and the joyous gaiety of sunbeams, and the weeping of clouds, and the fickleness of winds, and the timidity of the hare, and the vanity of the peacock, and the hardness of adamant, and the sweetness of honey, and the cruelty of the tiger, and the warm glow of fire, and the coldness of snow, and the chattering of jays, and the cooing of the kokila, and the hypocrisy of the crane, and the fidelity of the chakravaka, and compounding all these together, Brahma made woman and gave her to man. Eight days later the man returned to Brahma: "My Lord, the creature you gave me poisons my existence. She chatters without rest, she takes all my time, she laments for nothing at all, and is always ill. Take her back." and Brahma took the woman back. But eight days later, the man came again to the god and said, "My Lord, my life is very solitary since I returned this creature. I remember she danced before me, singing. I recall how she glanced at me from the corner of her eye, how she played with me, clung to me. Give her back to me," and Brahma returned the woman to him. Three days only passed and Brahma saw the man coming to him again. "My Lord," said he, "I do not understand exactly how it is, but I am sure that the woman causes me more annoyance than pleasure. I beg you to relieve me of her!" But Brahma cried, "Go your own way and do the best you can." And the man cried: "I cannot live with her!" "Neither can you live without her!" replied Brahma. And the man went away sorrowful, murmuring: "Woe is me, I can neither live with her nor without her."
A Little About Me
Aloha! My name is Amanda and I created my blog and shop "And Amanda Said" based in Simi Valley, California, offering a mix of personal reflections, insightful commentary, and inspirational quotes. My goal is to challenge perspectives and ignite conversations that matter. I want all addicts to know they are not alone.
Just a quick fact about why I named my site "andAMANDAsaid.com. In elementary school, I had this awesome and fun teacher, his name was Mr. C. I still have no clue what his last name is, I just know it was hard to pronounce. Anyway, the first day of 6th grade, he gave each student a fun nickname. Everyone was getting cute and clever ones. He went from Z-A for last names. I was B and also the last student to get a nickname. He said "ok, last one here, andddd Amanda. So my nickname for the entire school year was "AndAmanda". Never forgot it. =) Moving on...
I am a healthcare professional by day, working as a Behavioral Technician with some truly amazing individuals. But when the workday ends, my curiosity kicks into high gear! I'm a lifelong student, enthusiastically diving into everything from the intricate detail of engraving to the mind-bending vastness of space, the complexities of psychology, the rewarding experience of volunteering, and the simple joys of nature and gardening. Let's just say, I'm a professional dabbler and proudly anti-boring.
People who know me describe me as curious, creative, analytical, passionate, adventurous, and (I hope!) genuinely kind. My journey hasn't always been a straight shot – there have been a few unexpected detours – but those experiences have fueled a deep drive for personal growth and a real desire to lend a hand to others navigating their own paths. I'm a firm believer in embracing life, even the tough parts, because they truly make the good moments shine brighter.
While my resume might hint at my adventurous spirit and love for learning, my soul is really powered by laughter, the beauty of the world around us, and the genuine joy of helping others. Seriously, humor is my ultimate passion – it's my personal therapy, right up there with a breathtaking sunset or the chance to make someone smile. My personal motto, probably etched near my funny bone, is to care deeply (maybe a little too much!), always be kind, and aim for maximum smileage.
Currently, I'm juggling my healthcare role, running a small but mighty team of online businesses (soon to be four!), and casually collecting college course certificates for fun (and maybe a little knowledge hoarding). Through my little corner of the internet, "andAmandasaid," I'm putting my voice out there to connect with you on a real level. I want to share my experiences and insights, particularly around trauma, addiction, and feeling lost, hoping to build connections with others who understand or share similar passions, and maybe even collaborate on something awesome.
So, whether you're a potential client, employer, fellow space geek, or just someone who appreciates a good laugh (and maybe a nerdy tangent or two), welcome! Pull up a virtual chair, grab your beverage of choice, and let's learn, grow, and maybe chuckle our way through this fascinating world together.
I myself have struggled and still is and forever will be a struggle, with alcohol. It has taken a lot from me over the past 20 years. I was 35 when I went to a Women and Children's rehabilitation center for 9 months and sober living for two months.
I had hit rock bottom as most addicts eventually do. The fun and games were over and I started to drink to forget. After rehab & sober living doing it 100% sober, I learned a great deal about myself. I am here to share my story and hopefully give people motivation and strength. Even if I can help one person, all of this has been worth it!
The journey to sobriety was and still is an arduous climb, each step forward often met with the relentless pull of addiction. Entering the rehabilitation center for nine months, especially with my past trauma presented its own unique set of challenges, navigating personal healing alongside the profound responsibility for the children's well-being in that environment. Yet, within those walls, I found unexpected solace and purpose as The Parent Center IT, a role that allowed me the simple joy of witnessing children of all ages learn and play, a constant reminder of the future I was fighting for.
Furthermore, I also found the quiet act of tending to the center's garden became a therapeutic outlet, the nurturing of new life mirroring my own slow but steady growth towards recovery, each budding plant a testament to the possibility of healing and a brighter tomorrow for myself and the children in this world.
Growing up as a tomboy in Simi presented a unique set of challenges, particularly when it came to connecting with other girls. While the boys I palled around with were accepting of my bug-eating adventures and the inevitable collection of bruises and cuts, the girls often kept their distance, perhaps finding my rough-and-tumble ways unfamiliar. It wasn't until recently that my dad recounted stories of finding me with a bleeding scrape, my stoicism born from the unspoken code of my male companions: "Real boys and real tomboys don't cry!" At ten years old, that mantra held an odd sort of power, unknowingly shaping a high tolerance for pain, both physical and emotional. But today, standing here in Simi Valley once again, I consciously choose a different kind of strength – one that embraces vulnerability.
The ingrained resistance to tears is still there, a deeply etched habit, but when the need arises, I now allow myself that release, whether in quiet solitude or openly, understanding that true strength lies not in suppressing emotion, but in acknowledging and processing it.
For that reason, I also created my store Phlox Theory. I hold it dear to my heart because I feel, as an addict, we should wear our recovery proudly. My background in graphic design and engraving bring me back to a happy place. I figured why not start a company dedicated to being sober. Wear that badge of honor PROUDLY! Supportive family, friends and those who are Al-Anon allies can wear their sober loved ones success. Go check it out, I do custom everything as well! www.PhloxTheory.com
I have a few more businesses I run as well, coming soon to a computer or cell phone near you!
Another passion of mine is serving others, particularly by advocating for the elimination of stigma and discrimination against individuals struggling with addiction. This commitment drives my dedication to supporting an incredible organization.
Explore their website to learn more about upcoming events, such as the run or walk hosted by The National Institute on Drug Abuse. Participation is free, and you'll even receive a complimentary t-shirt. But beyond that, you'll be taking a powerful stand—one that supports yourself, your loved ones, and the fight to end addiction stigma and discrimination once and for all.
National Institute on Drug Abuse
Supporting scientific research on drug use and addiction
The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) is a U.S. government agency that supports scientific research on drug use and addiction. Its mission is to advance science on the causes and consequences of drug use and addiction and to apply that knowledge to improve individual and public health. 1 Essentially, they fund and conduct research to understand, prevent, and treat substance use disorders.
CLICK ON THE LOGO BELOW TO BE
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How You Can Take Action:
Your voice helps ensure that these lifesaving services remain funded, accessible, and equitable.
Urge your U.S. House Representatives to sign a bipartisan Dear Colleague letter to support this funding before May 9.
Getting sober is a deeply personal journey, and the "best" time is really when an individual is ready and willing to commit to the process. However, there are often critical junctures where the need for sobriety becomes undeniable and presents a significant opportunity for positive change.
Here are some indicators that it might be the right time to get sober:
- When alcohol or drug use starts causing significant problems in one or more areas of life, such as relationships, work/school, finances, or health (both physical and mental).
- When you recognize a pattern of harmful behaviors while under the influence or as a result of substance use, such as driving impaired, neglecting responsibilities, or engaging in risky activities.
- When you've tried to cut down or stop before and haven't been successful. This can be a sign of dependence.
- When loved ones express concern about your substance use. Their perspective can offer valuable insight.
- When you find yourself needing the substance to feel "normal" or experiencing withdrawal symptoms when you don't use it. This indicates physical dependence.
- When you realize that your social life and activities revolve primarily around substance use.
- When you start lying about your consumption or hiding it from others.
- When you no longer enjoy activities that don't involve substances.
- Following a significant negative consequence directly related to substance use, such as a legal issue, job loss, or a health scare. This can be a powerful motivator, although it's ideal not to wait for a crisis.
- When you simply have a desire to live a healthier, more present, and fulfilling life without the influence of substances. This intrinsic motivation can be very strong.
Ultimately, the most effective time to get sober is when the individual has reached a point of internal readiness and is motivated to make a change. While external factors can certainly play a role in prompting this decision, lasting sobriety often stems from a personal commitment to a better future.
It's important to remember that it's never too late to get sober, and seeking help at any point is a sign of strength. If you or someone you know is considering sobriety, reaching out to healthcare professionals, support groups, or treatment centers can provide the necessary guidance and support.