Insomnia or too much coffee??

       Insomnia can be a real struggle, turning quiet nights into battles with a restless mind. For me, finding ways to calm down has been key.

Reading "The Big Book" offers a sense of grounding, and India Love Poems provide a peaceful distraction. This is a stark contrast to the time lost to my alcohol addiction.

Now, being sober and spending quality time with my family has brought immense joy and productivity back into my life, allowing me to make up for lost time and truly be present.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and I definitely get into my head a lot. It's incredible how easy it was to drink and time passes...it's harder to stay sober so to all of my friends and family, I respect you and honor your strength. It takes a true will of mental strength and self control/discipline to stay sober. I commend you, whether you're 2 hours sober or years....every second counts.

I personally think about drinking everyday, it's in my dreams at night, in search of alcohol yet always unable to find it. I know my best friend Lo agrees with me that those dreams (nightmares) will be forever a part of our lives.

I know when I start to feel that painful anxiety, I hop on a meeting if available or tend to my plants. Music and movies help, reading as well. I am going to create a list of great books I personally recommend and since my best friend is an avid reader, I will ask her for recommendations. When I was in rehab, she loaned me several books and WOW! She has great taste!!

I am also a huge "over-thinker". I made a vow to my family and myself that I won't touch alcohol ever again...but I am also worried about the future. Possible loss of a family member or friend and how to naturally grieve instead of picking up the bottle.

My trauma stories are always in and out of my mind. I will forever struggle and I accept the challenge. I hope you do too.

I wish you all a beautiful Sunday and Happy Easter!