The journey through addiction, for me and many others, have been incredibly difficult and honestly, really hurtful. People labeling and judging, not even giving a second glance. I go on a date with a man, tell him I am in recovery and 100% sober. What do I get in return? He said he can't be around me because he drinks. Didn't even ask me if I let people drink around me, which I do. So basically fuck that guy and whomever in the world with such a closed mind.
So now and forever I will do my best every day to help people. It's so encouraging to see people starting to truly understand and work on ending the stigma around addiction. After all, no one knows any background so judging me is a waste of time, I only use my time with supportive and caring people. Even though I'm not in Narcotics Anonymous, I attend their meetings and group activities as well. I genuinely celebrate their milestones and many of those folks have become my good friends. They've also been a huge support for me, a my A.A. meetings. They come to my speaker meetings. Always a hoot!
It takes a strong person and thick skin to go through the journey. It will get better if you have the will to quit.
For myself, I know that some people will always see me as a "drunk" or a "boozer," no matter what I do. I can truly say that I don't care. I am proud to be sober and the journey to get here, this point of grace and self love.
But you know what? I don't really dwell on my past anymore. I used to carry some shame and guilt, acting out in aggression. Something in my heart just said stop. It isn't even fun anymore, the disease cost me a lot in life but now I'll be damned if I ever go down that route.I have a permanent seat on the wagon and I am sitting comfortably.
I'm loving myself now, putting myself and family first & I ensure this to myself and everyone, I'm never looking back. I haven't been this happy in many years. I truly hope that anyone reading this can say the same thing someday. I'd never said it out loud before, but I vividly remember the first time I said, "Aloha! I am Amanda, and I'm an alcoholic." It was bittersweet, but a massive burden lifted off my shoulders. Now, I can confidently and proudly say,
"Aloha, I'm Amanda, and I am a grateful recovering addict."
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